Metal Health
'How Metal Music Influenced My Life'
By Calvin Parson
Oct. 29, 2016
For as long as I can remember I've been listening to Rock and Heavy Metal music, due to my father. Anytime he drove us places, or sitting around his house on the weekends he'd have music on, and it wasn't lame dad music it would be awesome bands like Iron Maiden, Metallica, Anthrax, Motley Crue, Guns 'N Roses, etc.
So as you can probably already tell growing up I was surrounded by this music. During Elementary School my favourite bands were Motley Crue, AC/DC, and Guns 'N Roses, until my 12th birthday. I was in grade 6 and dad had bought me Guitar Hero; Metallica, and that’s when I had become consumed by the pure power and aggression of Metallica. I remember it was a Thursday when he gave me the present, and the next day in school I was itching my ass to get home and play it all weekend long. I had always liked Metallica but never to the level I did at the time for whatever reason, and for the next couple years they were all the I would really listen to even being known at my Junior High School as the Metallica guy.
As I got older I started to listen to heavier music then the Hair Metal I was listening to when I was younger. Listening to more Iron Maiden, Anthrax, Megadeth, Motorhead, Metallica, etc. As I moved into Junior High, I drifted away from my friends as people tend to do when moving to different schools, all my friends from Elementary School, were into welding carpentry, things of that nature, whereas I was more into the arts music, drawing, comic books, movies, video games, so I had trouble fitting in with the majority of people at our school, I eventually found a group of friends that I could hang out with and play video games with.
Not only in Junior High was when I started to meet new people and figure more out about myself, it's also the first time I went to a concert, and not only it was it my first concert but it was my first Metallica show. My father had won tickets on the radio for us to go see Metallica in Quebec City. He had won them on K-Rock 105.5, on Friday, Oct. 30. I knew he was going to be competing to win them but didn’t know that he had actually won the tickets till I got home from school that day and my grandmother had spoiled the surprise. The next day I couldn’t sleep, I stayed up till my dad's girlfriend at the time had to drive us to get on the bus to take us to Quebec City, and then I was awake the whole bus ride there, and didn’t sleep till we got back to our hotel after the show. We had floor seats for the show, Volbeat and Lamb of God opened for Metallica, and all I could remember how overwhelming it was waiting in anticipation for Metallica to come on. When Metallica finally came on they blew me away. We must have been only 10ft away from the stage, you could feel the heat off the pyro, and I was getting to see this band I had been idolizing.
I remember ever since I got Guitar Hero: Metallica, I looked up to James Hetfield, I don’t know why, I just gravitated towards him out of the other members of the band, I guess it's because he was the lead singer and he also played guitar which I had an interest in both at the time and still do to this day. After that concert I just remember wanting to be like James. When I got into High School I started getting my hair cut like him, and even attempted to grow facial hair like his but I have yet reached the ability to do that.
I also just wanted to know more about the band so I went out and got my hands on whatever books, documentaries, articles, etc. Just so I could learn more about the band. I must have heard the same stories told about 100 different times. I was fanatic about this group, I went out and got all their CD's even the ones fans of the group thought were terrible, and I listened to it all from Kill 'Em All to St.Anger, and when they announced their new album coming out on November. 18, 2016 I pre-ordered the deluxe version of the album the minute I could.
I wouldn’t even say that Metallica is my favourite band anymore, Anthrax took that spot back when I was in Grade. 9, and I had grown tired of just listening to Metallica. I felt I need to move on from listening to Master of Puppets, and Ride the Lightning, so I moved onto Among the Living, and Spreading the Disease. I built my image in High School off James Hetfield, and my personality off of Scott Ian of Anthrax. I liked comics, and didn’t drink or do drugs like Scott Ian. But I wanted to look like James, cutting my hair short so I could spike it up in the front, wearing tight jeans, and band shirts.
So as I went into High School, everything around me changed drastically, my dad's father had passed away which hit me hard, and then my mother had remarried and we had to move, I didn’t have to change schools but I had lost my home, and as like most kids I didn’t get along well with my stepfather still don’t to this day, I turned to comic books actually, but I had recently purchased my first Anthrax CD, Among the Living and I would listen to it every morning on the bus, it helped me get escape when I needed it and I didn’t have any comics close by.
My first year of High School sucked, only having one friend with me there, the rest being younger than us were still stuck at our Junior High School still. But the next two years being some of the best in my life. I had made a bunch of friends near the end of my Grade 10 year in history, and the next year we were the only ones that took it again so we just picked up from where we left off, then all my younger friends started Grade 10, and I met one little Christian boy had been new to our school in that very History class, Stephen Clarke, he becomes more important later on in this story. Now grade 11, I didn’t really explore new music just kinda kept listening to what I liked Anthrax, and Metallica mostly.
But in Grade 12 I broadened my horizons a little more. Started to listen to Rob/White Zombie a lot more, again I had always listened to them because of my father but this is when I really sat down and started to listen to his music. Also in the first semester of that year I was taking the co-op program at our school and I got to work with two comic book artists that live in the same province as myself. Troy and Brenda Little, two of the most amazing people I got to meet in my 19 years on this earth. As I got to know Troy more we would talk about music, I surprised him quite a bit, like one time he was telling me he went to see Helloween live, I remember him saying "I got to see this one German power metal band once, called Helloween." I then proceeded to say "You lucky bastard, I would love to see Helloween!" Or one day when I was over at their place, I was wearing my Alex Ross, Judge Dredd Anthrax shirt, and he came over to me and he said "I noticed the shirt you were wearing. So check this out." He then showed me a panel from one of the issues of Powerpuff Girls he did where the enemy they were fighting was saying "I AM THE LAW!"
Then as the second semester rolled around I started all my new course and started to listen to even more music. This is around the time I really started to listen to Pantera, Queen, 3 Inches of Blood, and DIO. I can remember thinking that my second semester was gonna suck but it's where I made most of my friends. In my art class I met tons of new people due to that little Christian Boy Stephen. I never really hung out with Steve until that art class that we shared with each other. I got to meet my friends Jayne, Justina, Bronwyn, and a couple others but those three, plus Steve were like the main crew or "squad" as they would put it. Then closer to the end of the school year I met another girl, Maggie, she's the reason I'm writing this little article in the first place, but there's a little more to this story that I have to tell before we get to that part.
Now I was back in the same boat as I was 3 year prior to these events. Me being older I graduated before all these good people, and I didn’t get into the course I wanted to take in post secondary so I decided I'd take a year off, earn some money and decide what I wanted to take then. I worked at the local EB Games at the time, and as I was working I was seeing all my friends go out and do things while I sat at work, and I started to feel depressed turning to music as my escape. Listening to the music that I listened to all my life, Metal!
I eventually decided that I had wanted to go back to High School to do upgrading, but in reality it was more of an excuse to have less shifts at work and to hang out with friends again. Somewhere in all these events my buddy Steve started dating that Maggie girl, so I became good friends with her because she was dating my best friend at the time. Also at this time I really got into Judas Priest for a couple of months never reaching the level of obsession as Metallica or Anthrax, but similar to Rob Zombie, where it was something I always listened to but never sat down and actually listened to it. Which plays into the whole Maggie thing, now Steve if you read this I never planned on this happening. One day I said in our group chat that I had coupons for a local game store, Geno Games, and when I went to use the coupon Maggie asked to tag along because she also liked the little store. I didn’t think anything of it and when she asked to come I went why not. The whole car ride into town we listened to Judas Priest and DIO, and of course I sang along with the music giving it my all as I always do, she found it amusing, I started to form feelings for this girls, and went FUCK! Then started my three month wait for the two of them to break up.
Also because this article is about music, Steve's birthday fell on the release of Anthrax's Four All Kings, which I had pre-ordered on Amazon, but because I'm inpatient I went to Wal-Mart and bought the CD the day it came out. So I bought the CD twice giving my second copy to my father, because he had yet to buy it and Anthrax is his favourite band as well. But some time went on we had my 19th birthday at my fathers because I had the house to myself so me and my friends had a party. I of course DJ'd the event with our Blu-Ray of the very Metallica concert me and my father attended. I was singing every song and was rocking out to them entertaining everybody that was there, my friend Emma even stating "you're like the next Metallica."
Now back to the stupid relationship stuff. Shortly after my birthday Steve and Maggie split up, we all remained friends but, now I could get in there as they say. After asking her to prom and a good month of just hanging out with her trying to impress her and things like that we actually started to date. I asked her out on our first date a week before our prom and we went on our first date, the day before the actual prom itself. Now because I figured she wouldn't like the heavier music I was into we listened to her music on the date, I didn’t care really, I was never like most metalheads that will only listen to Metal, I've always liked Hip Hop to a certain extent, same with some Pop music, I've always kinda liked J-Pop.
During the months leading up to me and Maggie actually dating I started to pick up my guitar which I purchased all the way back in Grade 6, and I started to sing more. I was starting to notice how important music had been for me through my life. Also around this time I started to listen to more early Black Metal, like Venom and Mercyful Fate.
When I started to date Maggie I knew she used to really like the newer Pop Punk and Metalcore bands, which I'm not a fan of but have always like older Punk like the Misfits. So I took her and a couple of our other friends, Jayne who also liked the same music as Maggie, and the Little Christian boy who was no longer a Christian boy to a Hardcore punk show where we live. It was for the debut tape of one of the local Hardcore Bands Iron Eye. The show was awesome, Iron Eye doing a cover of Judas Priest's Breaking The Law, it being the only song that I knew the words to so I sang along, and my friends getting a good laugh out of my reactions.
Over the course of that Summer Maggie, and I's relationship developed quickly, we had already known each other for a year and didn’t have to bother with that whole get to know you stuff that comes with dating. I shared my music with her, because it's so important to me and who I am. We would listen to Motley Crue mostly, I figured that maybe she would enjoy it more than my normal listenings, like Metallica and Anthrax.
During the Summer vacation she lived about two hours away from where I lived so, we didn't see each other all that much but the odd time she would come back to where she normally lives, and I would pick her up most of the time to take her back home, so each time I went to pick her up I would try to find something new to listen to, not my normal tunes, like British Steel, Ride the Lightning, Master of Puppets, Among The Living, Number of the Beast, etc. This is when I really started to listen to Megadeth. One trip to pick her up I downloaded Countdown to Extinction, Peace Sells, and Who's Buying, and Rust in Peace on Spotify. The whole drive I spent banging my head to the tunes of Dave Mustaine, I never really listened to Megadeth as much as Metallica and Anthrax, cause I guess I didn’t think of it, maybe I just didn’t like their sound as much till now but I would put them in my top 10 bands with Metallica and Anthrax, they wouldn’t be as high up as them but they're there.
Anyway in my travels back and forth, I would make her listen to stuff like Metallica and Anthrax, and I would tell her about the bands and the things they've done and basically gushed about my music. She at one point tried to get me a replacement copy of Among the Living cause I foolishly lost mine, but she sadly couldn’t find one for me on her trip to Ottawa last summer and got me Motley Crue's Girls, Girls, Girls. Which is what I almost bought instead of Among the Living the day I bought that CD, which I thought was cool cause she was actually listening to my dumb stories.
Lets skip ahead in time again to September of 2016. I had been dating Maggie for a little more than two months, not long. We decided that we would go to Moncton to go clothes shopping for school. When there I bought DIO's Holy Diver, Sound of the Beast, Megadeth's Rust in Peace, and Anthrax's State of Euphoria, then I bought a bunch of metal shirts to expand my wardrobe. We were both set for College. This doesn't really matter but I find kinda funny, at our College they always have a day for the new students, they set up games for us to play and have a BBQ, and as I was driving myself, Maggie, Steve, and Jayne home that day Jayne said "turn up the radio, like all the way" me being me took her joke seriously and cranked Holy Wars on full blast, and as we peeled out of the school parking lot you could hear the screeching of guitar, as I flashed people the Devil Horns.
Shortly after all these events, I would experience something most people have to go through. My relationship came to an end with Maggie, the next Monday she decided to end our relationship saying that we moved to fast and she just wanted to be friends. I like anybody became overwhelming upset, and I did what I always do when I become sad, I sat in my car and listened to music. My music of choice was Metallica's Black Album or Metallica depending on who you ask even though the band themselves call it the Black Album. I fell into this state of depression, my brain not knowing how to process all these emotion at once, I was confused.
For the next week or so I kept to myself, I just listened to music. I started to get more into Punk then I did before listening to the Glenn Danzig Era of Misfits more, even started to listen to his solo Danzig project more. Punk music had the right sense of anger and aggression that it help me get over this hump I had gotten myself into. I started to pick up my guitar more, I started to learn Misfits songs on guitar, it helped me keep my mind of things.
The following week I started to hang out with Maggie, Steve and Jayne again at lunch, because I still have feelings for Maggie, I just wanted her in my life in some way rather than not at all. But one day all the Schools where we live received a bomb threat, every student was sent home. My buddy Connor who I haven't mentioned yet, but he is one of my best friends me and him talked almost everyday last Summer vacation and he helped me get with Maggie. Anyway my buddy Connor was going through the same stuff as me at that point in time, his girlfriend recently broke up with him and he wasn't doing to hot, so I told Steve to check on him at some point throughout that day to make sure he was OK. But instead of doing that something happened, Maggie, and Steve getting into a fight with Connor over Facebook. Now while this was going on I was only getting Connor's side of the story, and what I was hearing pissed me off to a point where I lost my temper and went full dad mode. I told Steve that I was going to Maggie's so I could talk to the two of them to try and straighten out what was going on. I drove like a bat out of hell the whole way to her house I turned a 45 minute drive into a 30 minute drive, I was listening to Metallica the whole way there, I put Master of Puppets on, and I was gone. I was on a warpath and they were my targets. I went over there and argued with them mostly till me and Steve came to the same conclusion.
I apologized to Maggie, Jayne and Steve for what I did that day. Jayne saying that she would still be my friend, Steve and I clearing things up almost immediately, and Maggie had no regard for my apology. I became even more depressed, I just turned back to my music, trying to focus on learning guitar. Because of these events I've lost some of the things that I cared the most about such as one of my best friends, and I can’t listen to Motley Crue anymore and it even took me awhile to be able to listen to Rust in Peace and State of Euphoria, just because of the connection I have with those bands and Maggie. But I also gained a lot, I've become a more skilled musician, I'm hoping I will be able to perform soon at our College during their open mic days at lunch, I've become more open to people about things like this, and because of this I wanted to meet new people and started to talk to the people in my program at school more, and that’s because I've been trying to reinvent myself, around the music I listen to and am passionate about.
If it wasn’t for my music I don’t know where I'd be today. I feel it has kept me on the straight and narrow. Usually in times like this people turn to drugs or alcohol, I've stayed clean, not being a big fan of booze despite my love for Metallica who have been known for the amount of alcohol they would consume when they were younger, and drugs which I have only tried marijuana once, and though the high was great for the two hours I was on it but then I was back to my old sad self. I got the same feelings from smoking some weed that I do when I bang my head, and yes dad I smoked a little bit of weed and now you’re probably gonna kill me, so it was nice knowing all of you, :).
